


Cabbage Patch

by how_obscure



Category: Firefly
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Kid Fic, Triple Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-06
Updated: 2009-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:50:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/how_obscure/pseuds/how_obscure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mal is scandalized by talk of anatomy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cabbage Patch

It was nearly dinnertime onboard Serenity. Kaylee had just gone to tell those not present that supper was ready, Jayne sat at the small corner table cleaning his knives, and Mal was busy telling stories to five year-old Elizabeth Cobb as he set the table.

“That’s not so, Captain Mal!” the little girl gasped in disbelief.

“It surly is, Miss Lizzie. I would know; I was there. I’ve known your pa since before you were even a twinkle in his eye.”

She blinked up at him confused before she seemed to suss out the meaning of the phrase. Then, never one to let others walk around ill informed, she very matter-of-factly told him, “Spermatozoa are produced in the seminiferous tubules of the testes. They are never present in the eyes.” 

Mal’s eyes widened with shock. “River,” he yelled. “ _What_ have you been teachin’ this kid?” 

“She wanted to know where babies came from,” River replied calmly as she stepped into the mess. 

“And you chose to tell her _that_?” Mal asked in disbelief. “Mine still think they came from a _cabbage patch_!” He turned to Jayne. “You let her tell this to your little girl?”

Jayne nodded. “Di’nt see _nothin’_ wrong with tellin’ her the truth. ‘Sides,” he shrugged, “she is kinda a’vanced.”

“Yeah, well…,” he paused. That was very true. “Be that as it may, you best see to it she don’t go ‘round sayin’ that sorta stuff in front of _my youngins_. I am all for them bein’ blissfully unaware for a good while yet.”

Apparently done with being ignored, Elizabeth spoke up again. “I’m still right here.” 

He turned, pointing a finger at her for emphasis, “Cabbage patch, dong ma?”

Sounding very put-upon she sighed, “Wu dong.”


End file.
